<?php

/* Copyright (C) 2010-2026, the Friendica project
 * SPDX-FileCopyrightText: 2010-2026 the Friendica project
 *
 * SPDX-License-Identifier: AGPL-3.0-or-later
 */

return [
	// Generic
	"The queue manager is lining up your request...",
	"The server elves are working hard...",
	"Gears and sprockets are aligning; hold tight...",
	"The turbocharger is starting in 3... 2... 1...",
	"Our background gnomes are optimizing the flow...",
	"An accountant gnome is crunching the numbers; this will be quick...",

	// Coffee references
	"Espresso shot warming up — extraction in progress...",
	"Fresh beans grinding; aroma calibration underway...",
	"Barista AI is steaming milk for optimal latency...",
	"Your cup is being poured; crema is forming...",

	// Star Trek
	"Scotty is fine-tuning the warp nacelles in Engineering on the Enterprise...",
	"Helm of the USS Enterprise is plotting a safer course through the nebula...",
	"Spock is analyzing the sensor array on the bridge of the Enterprise...",
	"Commander Sisko orders a power reroute to the Defiant's engines in Deep Space Nine Ops...",
	"Phaser banks on the starboard side are charging for diagnostics...",
	"The holodeck safety protocols are initializing in Ten Forward...",
	"The warp core is stabilizing...",
	"Chief O'Brien is performing a systems check in DS9 Engineering...",

	// Back to the Future
	"Doc Brown is tuning the flux capacitor at the Twin Pines Garage...",
	"The DeLorean is revving toward 88 mph on Hill Valley Square...",
	"Mr. Fusion is charging up for a timeline jump in the mall parking lot...",
	"The Hill Valley clock tower is syncing with the time circuits; please stand by...",

	// The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
	"The infinite improbability drive is weighing the odds...",
	"Bistromathics calculations are conjuring improbable tea...",
	"Ford Prefect is consulting The Guide's entry on unlikely shortcuts...",
	"Trillian is paging through the appendix for a sensible route to Magrathea...",
	"Probability waves in the Improbability Drive are folding into a plausible outcome...",
	"Deep Thought is queued; the answer arrives after lunch...",
	"The Vogon translator is buffering — expect slow poetry...",
	"Pan Galactic networks are retrying with extra vinegar...",

	// Star Wars
	"The Millennium Falcon is engaging the hyperdrive for the Kessel Run...",
	"Leia is entering hyperspace coordinates into the Rebel nav console...",
	"R2-D2 is feeding the navicomputer precise jump vectors...",
	"The Force is guiding the data transmission...",
	"R2-D2 is recalculating the jump coordinates...",

	// Warhammer 40k
	"The Machine Spirit is awakening...",
	"The Warp is stabilizing for safe transit...",
	"The Adeptus Mechanicus is blessing the circuits...",

	// Doctor Who
	"The TARDIS is materializing your request...",
	"The Doctor is recalculating the time vortex...",
	"The TARDIS console hums — Allons-y, loading in progress...",

	// Futurama
	"Good news, everyone! The server is responding...",
	"Bender is optimizing the database query...",
	"The Planet Express delivery is in progress...",

	// Rick and Morty
	"Burp... the quantum computer is processing, Morty...",
	"The portal to the right dimension is opening...",
	"Wubba lubba dub dub! Just a moment...",

	// Discworld
	"The Librarian is finding the right book... Ook.",
	"Death is consulting his hourglass...",
	"The magic is flowing through the Octavo...",

	// The Elder Scrolls
	"Fus Ro Dah! The page is loading...",
	"The Elder Scrolls are being consulted...",
	"The Dragonborn is resting at the inn...",

	// Portal
	"The Aperture Science test is initializing...",
	"GLaDOS is recalculating test parameters...",
	"The companion cube is being positioned...",

	// Half-Life
	"The HEV suit systems are coming online...",
	"Dr. Kleiner is adjusting the teleporter...",
	"The Combine forces are being held at bay...",

	// Dungeons & Dragons
	"The DM is rolling for your loading time...",
	"The party is resting at the campfire...",
	"Rolling for initiative on page load...",

	// The IT Crowd
	"Jen asks if you have tried turning it off and on again?",
	"Jen is fixing the server issue...",
	"The firewall is being reconfigured by Roy...",

	// Silicon Valley
	"Pied Piper is compressing your request...",
	"Pied Piper's algorithm is finding the optimal path...",
	"Richard is explaining it to Big Head...",

	// Matrix
	"The Oracle is seeing the future of your request...",
	"Neo is bending the loading time...",
	"Following the white rabbit through the code...",

	// The Lord of the Rings
	"The server is carrying this request to Mordor one step at a time...",
	"Gandalf is checking the bridge logs before you shall pass...",
	"An orc courier misread the address; rerouting via Rivendell...",

	// Game of Thrones
	"The request is forging alliances before it reaches your page...",
	"The data is crossing the Wall, please keep your cloak on...",
	"The maesters are debating the checksum in the Citadel...",

	// Dune
	"The spice flow is stabilizing your connection...",
	"The Mentats are computing the safest path through this query...",
	"Fremen scouts report stable latency across the spice fields...",

	// Stargate
	"The gate is dialing, please stand clear of the event horizon...",
	"The iris is opening for authorized packets...",
	"Ancient protocols are negotiating packet clearance...",

	// Battlestar Galactica
	"DRADIS has the response on scope...",
	"The fleet is making one more jump to deliver your data...",
	"Command confirms a green corridor for your data...",

	// The Expanse
	"The Rocinante is burning hard toward your timeline...",
	"Belt traffic is dense, your request is still on course, beratna...",
	"Holden marked this request priority; making course adjustments...",

	// Ghostbusters
	"We trapped a rogue exception in the containment unit...",
	"Don't cross the streams, the backend is almost ready...",
	"Containment field needs a minor recalibration...",

	// Indiana Jones
	"The response is in the archive, behind one puzzle and three traps...",
	"We swapped the idol with a sandbag, now the query can escape...",
	"Watch out for rolling boulders during archive retrieval...",

	// Blade Runner
	"These packets won't be lost in time tonight...",
	"A replicant is running diagnostics on your request...",
	"Neon rain is slowing transit, but diagnostics are underway...",

	// Pokémon
	"Your request used Quick Attack, processing speed rose sharply...",
	"The server found a rare response in tall grass...",
	"A wild response appeared; capture in progress...",

	// Minecraft
	"The creeper took a wrong turn; regenerating the chunk...",
	"Redstone is syncing the circuits; please wait a tick...",
	"A wandering trader is delivering your response; please hold...",

	// Kerbal Space Program
	"Staging confirmed — booster separation in 3... 2... 1...",
	"Telemetry shows a slight wobble; SAS is stabilizing the packet...",
	"Mission Control: executing a corrective burn to avoid debris...",

	// One Piece
	"The log pose is recalibrating to the next island... hold course...",
	"The crew is plotting a new route around the Calm Belt...",
	"A navigator consults the map; the Grand Line path is forming...",

	// Studio Ghibli
	"The soot sprites are scattering; please wait for them to regroup...",
	"A catbus is delivering your response; hold on tight...",
	"The bathhouse spirits are processing your request; patience is appreciated...",

	// Marvel Universe
	"S.H.I.E.L.D. is routing your request through a secure relay...",
	"Stark tech is compiling an optimized response — deploying nano-patch...",
	"Asgardian thunder is clearing the cache; processing resumes...",

	// DC Universe
	"The Batcomputer is analyzing the packet; tactical response pending...",
	"The Flash zipped your request through; expect a temporal wobble...",
	"Kryptonian diagnostics verify integrity under yellow-sun checks...",
];
